The end of another work/school/work/work week has arrived yet again. It's Saturday again for literally the millionth time. The day is just beginning to wake up, the sun is stretching its, taking a yawn and contemplating what to do for the day.
I spend most weekends catching on chores and things I didn't get to do over the week. I did to get better at consolidating my work and chores for the weekdays and leave the weekends for leisure. I feel like everything else, time on the weekends needs its own file folder where I can categorize everything that is "Weekend Time" or anything related to " Weekend time". It's exhausting finding file folders for everything. If anyone were to take a sledge hammer to my head right now, all they would crack open would be beige filing cabinets with multicolored file folders, alphabetized of course, paper clips, stapler, and other obscure office equipment no else has heard of.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Throws of Office-dom
My life has plunge into the depths of serious office work. I sit in front of a couple at least four days a week, filing, writing letters, fundraising, researching, and doing other not-so-fun office stuff. I know my days with office work are plenty, social work is a wonderful, humanistic,I want to save the world profession, but nobody ever tells you how much paper work and office work goes into this so-called "helping" profession. The tag line should read " The helping profession: where you get to learn how to use every piece of office equipment ever invented. If this sounds like your life calling please dial 1800-help-me-to-a-computer-now."
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I feel like a big fat liar at job interviews.
I'm reminded of this idea as I will be going off to a plethora of job interviews about a year and a half from now, right after I graduate with a master's in social work ( hopefully).
Every job interview I have ever had in working adult life has consisted of a question in some form that asks where i see myself in the future, or in five years, or 2 weeks. When the question is ignited like a firecracker, all I want to do is put my hands over ears and run away from the red sharp crackling noise that makes my ears bleed. " I don't know really but I hope that perhaps I will be able to afford a new car by then. Hopefully I will have traveled a little and maybe learned how to make a decent lemon tart, my favorite dessert." If only I could say that without sounding like an unmotivated, ambition-less, indecisive drifter that lacks forethought and drive.
I am a liar, not because I don't know from one minute to the next what to do with myself, but because I pretend that I have answers for something I can't even see, touch,hear, smell or feel. I lie and tell the my potential employer that i see myself doing social work forever and that I never have selfish thoughts. I don't care about money or the power that money can wield in my life. I am a self-motivated individual that never accidentally deletes files, says anything politically incorrect or gets tired at the end of the work day. I have unlocked the answers to my life and that is why I make the perfect addition to your company. Am I hired?
I feel so rushed all the time, sometimes more than others. Rushed to finish school, get a job, be on time, know the definite answers to everything concerning my professional life. I know it's not that black and white, but sometimes I feel as though my "in the know" self is living 2 weeks ahead of schedule yelling back at my current self to catch up ,or else we will lose the race. still waiting for myself to catch up to myself.
I am a pretender, but I'll stand by you . . . and me.
I'm reminded of this idea as I will be going off to a plethora of job interviews about a year and a half from now, right after I graduate with a master's in social work ( hopefully).
Every job interview I have ever had in working adult life has consisted of a question in some form that asks where i see myself in the future, or in five years, or 2 weeks. When the question is ignited like a firecracker, all I want to do is put my hands over ears and run away from the red sharp crackling noise that makes my ears bleed. " I don't know really but I hope that perhaps I will be able to afford a new car by then. Hopefully I will have traveled a little and maybe learned how to make a decent lemon tart, my favorite dessert." If only I could say that without sounding like an unmotivated, ambition-less, indecisive drifter that lacks forethought and drive.
I am a liar, not because I don't know from one minute to the next what to do with myself, but because I pretend that I have answers for something I can't even see, touch,hear, smell or feel. I lie and tell the my potential employer that i see myself doing social work forever and that I never have selfish thoughts. I don't care about money or the power that money can wield in my life. I am a self-motivated individual that never accidentally deletes files, says anything politically incorrect or gets tired at the end of the work day. I have unlocked the answers to my life and that is why I make the perfect addition to your company. Am I hired?
I feel so rushed all the time, sometimes more than others. Rushed to finish school, get a job, be on time, know the definite answers to everything concerning my professional life. I know it's not that black and white, but sometimes I feel as though my "in the know" self is living 2 weeks ahead of schedule yelling back at my current self to catch up ,or else we will lose the race. still waiting for myself to catch up to myself.
I am a pretender, but I'll stand by you . . . and me.
Monday, March 3, 2008
pleasure at a measure
Today started busy but got progressively more relaxing, which is usually the progression of most days,but today it happen a lot sooner. By 1:30pm I was done and have had a pretty relaxing afternoon.
I wish I had more interesting and unique things planned for time, but most of my time off is spent folding the laundry I've left in the dryer the last three days or searching for ever more garlicky hummus recipes, paying bills or just lazing about with Nathan in front of the big TV, with ice cream and a movie. It never ceases to amaze me how these simple tasks could give me so much joy and tranquility.
In my earlier years, I would not have been satisfied with plain domestic tasks. I use to work very early mornings at a certain gourmet food store, so I would never have the opportunity to indulge in early morning nights. Every opportunity I got, Kirsten and I would venture out from suburbia and into Hollywood club scene. I remember us dressed in our most "indie" gear swimming in black and blue lighting, mod projections on the wall, and all " the New Order " music you could stomach. We would dance, jump, and sweat our way into the wee hours of Saturday morning with all the "indie" kids, feeling like superstars that were way to cool for jobs, bills,and early mornings. Afterwards we topped off the night with greasy food at our favorite Jewish pit stop, Canters. Then we would drive the 25 miles back into the San Gabriel Mountains on a quiet freeway, my heart soring and my feet hurting.
I recall those days with much fondness and am really happy that I am in a place where I can appreciate those past party moments and even better, find just as much glee in the more domestic and simple pleasures of life. I know some of you may be reading this and think that I am not domestic but rather domesticated, well for those late-nighters out there: " Still livin' the Dream, Baby, I am still livin' the Dream."
I wish I had more interesting and unique things planned for time, but most of my time off is spent folding the laundry I've left in the dryer the last three days or searching for ever more garlicky hummus recipes, paying bills or just lazing about with Nathan in front of the big TV, with ice cream and a movie. It never ceases to amaze me how these simple tasks could give me so much joy and tranquility.
In my earlier years, I would not have been satisfied with plain domestic tasks. I use to work very early mornings at a certain gourmet food store, so I would never have the opportunity to indulge in early morning nights. Every opportunity I got, Kirsten and I would venture out from suburbia and into Hollywood club scene. I remember us dressed in our most "indie" gear swimming in black and blue lighting, mod projections on the wall, and all " the New Order " music you could stomach. We would dance, jump, and sweat our way into the wee hours of Saturday morning with all the "indie" kids, feeling like superstars that were way to cool for jobs, bills,and early mornings. Afterwards we topped off the night with greasy food at our favorite Jewish pit stop, Canters. Then we would drive the 25 miles back into the San Gabriel Mountains on a quiet freeway, my heart soring and my feet hurting.
I recall those days with much fondness and am really happy that I am in a place where I can appreciate those past party moments and even better, find just as much glee in the more domestic and simple pleasures of life. I know some of you may be reading this and think that I am not domestic but rather domesticated, well for those late-nighters out there: " Still livin' the Dream, Baby, I am still livin' the Dream."
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Computer jargon
Nathan and I are watching Mr and Mrs. Smith on FX network. I look over to my darling boyfriend and notice that he is speaking to the computer. Not actually speaking, but that he and the computer are conversing in Computer language, which equates to a bunch of symbols, asteriks, and brackets, all of which make no sense to me.
Languges Nathan speaks: 4, French, English, Canadian, and super- complex computer talk.
I love my little linguist :)
Languges Nathan speaks: 4, French, English, Canadian, and super- complex computer talk.
I love my little linguist :)
The art of good experience
Yesterday, I bought the funniest little book by Ashleigh Brilliant, " Now that I have Given Up Hope, I feel much Better". The book is a composite of funny, and profoundly insightful thoughts and sayings. All thoughts are original and come from the sensible inner workings of a "Brilliant" writer. I found myself not able to put the book down or finish reading it. It isn't very long at all or difficult and trying to read ( like Henry James), but I suspect it's because every time I pick the book up, the thoughts and sayings seem to read new again, like the first time. They are simple quotes and sayings that are so obvious yet so easy to forget. It tickles me submarine yellow to have discovered such a find, let me share some of my favorites:
"Let's make it definite, I'll see you when I see you."
I'm not getting Paid much for staying alive, but it's a good experience,"
" If enough heads hit a brick wall, the wall comes crashing down"
" Everyone is entitled to my opinion"
In other news,
I think Nathan and I have found a place to live next year. We are hoping to move into a little one-bedroom apartment behind the house he lives at currently. It gets good natural light and it's quite spacious for a one bedroom unit, it also has this awesome Octagon window situated in the kitchen. It makes me feel like I'm living in a submarine underwater. I can't wait to move in together. I currently live as a nomad, migrating from one end of town to the next in fashionable hemp boots and a GAP parka. I can't wait to finally have all my stuff in one place. I know it's a simple request but the hike to my house every time I need fresh socks is getting the better of me. In another way, I feel I am tapping into the 1/8 part of me that is of Mongolian Descent. Those Mongolian roots are working hard.
I have spent most of this sunny Arcata day facing my laptop, revising a paper for my research class. A sunny day in Humboldt should never be neglected for anything, especially homework. It's becoming more of common occurrence now in the budding stages of spring for Humboldt to have sunny days, but most of the year it is stoically steel grey and foggy. I wished I could have welcomed the sunny day in flipflops,tank top, lemonade, and a smile on the Northern California coastline. It ok, sunny days to come all month.
I find the art of revision is a more difficult task than the initial writing of a first draft. A second or third draft requires so much more patience and thoughtful analysis and participation. One can't be lazy in a revising, it's a painstaking task in careful observation of something I feel I know well.I feel so good when I finish because I have surprised myself by the better place I got my paper to venture then I had initially expected. This feeling speaks to me on many days and in many ways.
One thought my friend Kim said,
"Everything that takes love . . .takes work."
Mood: enlightened
Listening to: a still sunset
"Let's make it definite, I'll see you when I see you."
I'm not getting Paid much for staying alive, but it's a good experience,"
" If enough heads hit a brick wall, the wall comes crashing down"
" Everyone is entitled to my opinion"
In other news,
I think Nathan and I have found a place to live next year. We are hoping to move into a little one-bedroom apartment behind the house he lives at currently. It gets good natural light and it's quite spacious for a one bedroom unit, it also has this awesome Octagon window situated in the kitchen. It makes me feel like I'm living in a submarine underwater. I can't wait to move in together. I currently live as a nomad, migrating from one end of town to the next in fashionable hemp boots and a GAP parka. I can't wait to finally have all my stuff in one place. I know it's a simple request but the hike to my house every time I need fresh socks is getting the better of me. In another way, I feel I am tapping into the 1/8 part of me that is of Mongolian Descent. Those Mongolian roots are working hard.
I have spent most of this sunny Arcata day facing my laptop, revising a paper for my research class. A sunny day in Humboldt should never be neglected for anything, especially homework. It's becoming more of common occurrence now in the budding stages of spring for Humboldt to have sunny days, but most of the year it is stoically steel grey and foggy. I wished I could have welcomed the sunny day in flipflops,tank top, lemonade, and a smile on the Northern California coastline. It ok, sunny days to come all month.
I find the art of revision is a more difficult task than the initial writing of a first draft. A second or third draft requires so much more patience and thoughtful analysis and participation. One can't be lazy in a revising, it's a painstaking task in careful observation of something I feel I know well.I feel so good when I finish because I have surprised myself by the better place I got my paper to venture then I had initially expected. This feeling speaks to me on many days and in many ways.
One thought my friend Kim said,
"Everything that takes love . . .takes work."
Mood: enlightened
Listening to: a still sunset
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